July 30, 2009

Our Birthright

The other day while asleep, the word of God came to me in a very powerful and special way. This is a story i have read and heard many times, but this time is sounded so different- a new revelation. This is the story of Esau and how he sold his birthright for a plate of food (Genesis 25:29-34). In this excerpt, the Bible records that Esau gave in to Jacobs blackmail because he 'despised his birthright.' This got me thinking how we have easily given away our inheritance without much thought. We look for quick fixes in life like; marriage partners, well paying jobs, favours, better living standards and so on. No one cares to seek the heart of God in whatever it is. We seldom count the cost. As long as we are assured of the above or more, we quickly jump onto the bandwagon.
i guess this revelation came out of the sadness that had filled my heart earlier in the day when i ran into one of my former friends and churchmate we served together with in church so faithfully for long. I noticed she had disappeared and assumed it must have been work or something related. Only to bump into her on the streets excitedly sharing how she had moved to another church, gotten married as a FOURTH wife and enjoying it. This pierced my heart!
Why would a Christian who knows God's standards end up in such?! Do you know what her response was? God had taken too long to bring the right man along. She even mocked me when i said i was still waiting on Him.
I mean, why do we expect God to be patient with us even when we lose the way yet never want to be patient for His promises?! We are assured of eternity in Him?!
Is this not the same attitude that led Esau to sell his birthright?! Wanting to fill his tummy there and then - the fast foods style. As long as there is no waiting to it, its all well with us regardless of the price.
And what did Esau lose when he gave up his birthright? Jacob inherited all of his family's blessings. He was blessed with all of heavens blessings. He was to rule over Esau and would become the great nation that God had promised Abraham his grandfather (Genesis 27:28-29). Can you imagine that! Picture this; blessings of heaven's dew, earth's richness, abundance of grain and new wine, nations to serve you and peoples to bow down to you. Ruler over your brothers, those who curse you be cursed and on and on. Its only at this point that Esau realises that he has nothing left (Genesis 27:36-40). How sad!
Do you know what it calls for for use to receive all of the promises lined out for us? FAITH. Faith is said ti be things hoped for. Reliance. Trust. Confidence. Expectation. Belief. Loyalty. Creed.
The Bible records of many people who relied on God fully to fulfill His promises. Even when it did not seem realistic, when it made no sense, they still saw sense in trusting God. There are so many tetsimonies recorded about this persons. God Himself gave testimonies about them. What does God say about us? Would God stand out for you like He did for many other Bible characters? About Abraham He said, "a man of great faith." About King David He said, "a man after my own heart. About Job He said, "there is no one on earth like him, he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." About Jesus He said, "my Son in whom i am well pleased." About Mary He said, "blessed among all women." To name just but afew. If we were to replay the same What would the Lord say about you? That you are one whose care is only about what men will say or does He say He knows whatever may come your way, you will remain faithful?"
Would you honour His word and stay put in anticipation of your inheritnce? what is this inheritance/birthright? The book of John 1:12-13 states "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." The moment we receive Christ as Lord and Saviour, we become co-heirs with Him. So why then would we give up our heavenly royalty to dwell in hell with the devil for ever?! Why would short time pleasures precede our destiny?!
As the common cliche goes: patience pays. If only we would hold on a little longer. If only we would allow God to work His fear in us. If only we would focus our sight to things to come - things above. If only...

July 28, 2009

An encounter with demons

Recently i was at the Coastal town of Kenya for a mission. We had a tight schedule that included door to door evangelism, crusades/open air meetings, prayer meetings and a church service. This was an exciting moment for me even as i ministered and the Lord got to minister to me.

The peak of my moments was when i found myself together with five others in a house with two demon possessed girls. This is where the faith that can move mountains takes charge.

Here we were in this hut, a family, local church group and these two girls who had been tormented by demons for a whole two weeks and were now in their third week. The look on their parents face was one of deep desperation. The mother would not even move anywhere near her wild children, while the father was one of those who were tying their limbs to try and contain them.

First,when we were asked to come pray for them, i thought it was a simple case of fever and such. But when i arrived and was confronted by the situation on the ground, i was kind of taken back. The Holy Spirit quickly reminded me of Mark 16:18 that says And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." At this moment, i took courage that i have come in the strength of the Lord. And so i was. This was going to be the real taste of my faith where the rubber meets the tarmac. As we undertook to prayer, the demons started manifesting themselves as the girls went wild, kicked, laughed and sang and danced vigorously. The demon in one would mock us and say 'this is useless effort.' We did not give up though. We kept praying, sweating and commanding it to leave by the power of the Blood of the Lamb Jesus Christ. Eventually, we had a breakthrough after battling for two hours or so, the girl with the most verbal spirit - male snake was delivered. We led her to denounce the spirits and received Christ as Lord and Saviour.
Then the battle with the second girl continued. The demon in her refused any kind of contact. She did not want to be touched, she would block her ears and would kick and threaten to bite if you force your way. I actually got a very bad scratch from her that has left me with a scar as i tried to shield myself from her bite.
We battled on and on a few times diverted from the battle by the deceit the demon would engage. By this time, my whole body was soaked in sweat and fatigue. I started feeling drained and tired i just wanted to drop in a chair.
What a victory it was when the girl finally got delivered and just as the other denounced the spirits and got saved. The parents and the rest of the family got saved too. We then prayed a prayer of protection for the whole family and left. You should have seen the relief and excitement on our faces!
This had been a real litmus paper test. As the Lord Jesus Christ assured us Himself in Luke 10:19 that He has given us authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; And that nothing will harm us.
View pictures of the mission on mndeta picasa web album

July 09, 2009

Gehazi the Liar

I had the honour of attending a Bible Study at my neighbours house by invitation. Boy, wasnt this a great time. The study's focus was 2 Kings 5. I begin by stating i am not an Old Testament person. So when we start this, I am a little perturbed why we should be studying the Old Testament, but then consoled that at least I shall have the pleasure of going through some of those books that challenge me when reading. Again, we are going to enjoy a story. I mean, that's what the book of Kings is about - stories of Israel and its kings. Stories of which king defeated which nation and the great soldiers and commanders who led the wars.

Guess what! Indeed it was one of those - about Naaman an army commander. I have read this story before. I know all about it. But let me wait and see what the Lord wants for me in it again today. After all, Bible verses have new meaning every other time you read them. They will address various situations anew every other time. We read through and reviewed each verse and its meaning from up till verse 19. When we got to verse 20, we read about Gehazi, Prophet Elisha's servant. This man after seeing all of the treasures that Elisha turned away Naaman with, he just cant understand it. A little thought comes to him how best he can have them for himself. He quickly honours this thought and runs after Naaman's chariot. Using the name of his boss, he takes some of the treasures and hides them in his house for himself.

As I read on, with a completely new revelation ( i mean, i have read this story before but never come across this Gehazi character. Or is it that i was never interested in him?!) I am thinking, um, how many of us are exactly the same! How many times have i gotten things in other people's names! And why not?!

Look what happens next (verse 25), the Spirit of the Lord reveals to Elisha what Gehazi has done. When asked, Gehazi conveniently lies to Elisha. I mean, if he was able to acquire the treasures from Naaman by a lie, why not use another to keep the truth from Elisha?! Arent a lot of us guilty of this?! I have told so many lies, unfortunately, "to not make the situation any worse." Or "not to make whoever feel bad." Or still "so that i dont look bad in their eyes."

Aha, better mend your ways before the seed grows a shoot!

In verse 27, Gehazi is cursed to get the leprosy, and have it CLEAVE onto his whole geneology! Can you imagine this! Now Gehazi inherits Naaman's leprosy and all of his descendants. All for what? A few pieces of silver and gold and expensive fabric!

Could it be that some of us are lepers because of sins that were committed by our forefathers?! Are we causing our descendants to suffer turmoil just because of a short moment of pleasure?! Have we angered God by our 'SMALL' and 'LITTLE' sins?! Are we building an empire of sin?! The wages of sin is death, so says the Bible in Romans 6:23, and continues that but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. So choose for your self who you will serve today.

July 02, 2009

Can you or Cant You?!


Yesterday i spent my day at The Salvation Army's Joytown Secondary School for the disabled. My mission was to meet two young fellows - Julius and Dan (both in final year of high school) who have discovered their passion in writing and have decided to take it a notch higher. These two guys are working on manuscripts for publication- two already, in which they intent to share their testimonies and the saving grace of Jesus Christ.
As the day for our meeting approached, i kept wondering, "am i really adequate?! Will i measure up to the task?! How do i handle these smart guys! What if they asked me stuff i have no answers to?!" The thoughts went on and on.
And on this very day as i am going, those questions and newer ones flooded my mind. I started feeling like my head would soon burst open out of an overflow. I could not stop my mind from racing. I kept telling myself shut up! Stop there! Its enough! That is it! Yet the mind kept going.
Indeed God works in mysterious ways. His mysteries are immeasurable and can only be understood by Him. Arriving in town, i realised i was too early for the appointment - guess out of anxiety and wanting to give a good impression. I decided to console with a friends family who had recently suffered the lose of their dad as i kill time. As is my habit to look around, reading anything readable (wall hangings, pictures, calendars, sign posts and the like), i did my did - passed my eyes around to see what there was to read in the house. I read quite a few since the house had plenty. One of the hangings read, "if you say you can, you can. And if you say you cant, indeed you cant." Others spoke about the love of God, good neighbourliness and so forth. I left thinking to myself, if i don't make it with the guys, at least i have fulfilled one other thing - consoling with these ones.
The school chaplain received me and set me up in her office before leaving to get my hosts. At this point, it dawns on me how 'hot' the seat is. Soon the door bursts open and in come the two guys, Julius and Dan. I am told Dan is a powerful evangelist while Julius is a great singer. At that point my mind is going "for them to be known as 'powerful' evangelist and 'great' singer, these must be intelligent guys. How do i measure up to their expectation?!" My wondering mind is suddenly interrupted by the chaplain who says, Dan and Julius, this is Marion, the Editor.
I look at their faces trying to read and understand their minds. I see a million and one questions and thoughts. The one that seemed most loud was, "is this she?!"Out of courtesy, i smile back and appreciate knowing them. The chaplain quickly excuses herself and locks the door behind her, leaving me with these 'great' guys. I think to myself, OK, the day of reckoning is finally here! Where do i start?! For a moment i felt like Daniel in that den of lions - i assume, since the Bible does not tell us how Daniel reacted other than speaking of his act of faith. Not knowing what to say to them, i start, please Dan sit on this chair (on my right), and you Julius pull your wheelchair besides me on this other side - kind of shielding myself against running away just in case my mind goes wild and i cant take it anymore. Then i say, "shall we pray."
And again the mind goes, "what are you going to pray about? Why didn't you ask the prayer group back home to stand with you in prayer?" I ignored it and quickly said a prayer.
We then embarked on business - discussing the manuscript. As we go on, i am thinking, "oh, it wasn't that hard after all!" as my heart smiles to itself. They brought out questions, we shared pieces of information here and there. They would smile time and again as i pointed out one issues that needed refining. They also brought out other issues they were discovering that needed more attention as we move along. And on and on. We got to sharing experiences as we discussed ways to better the material and make it juicer. We shared testimonies, the great acts of the Lord in our lives. Before we knew it, the chaplain was calling at the door for us to break for lunch. It was actually ten minutes to three in the afternoon! Wow! We had been sitting here for three hours without realising it. How fast time had flown! It felt like we had been there for only half an hour!
Surprised, the three of us, now great friends burst out in laughter. We did not want to part but we had surpassed our time. Dan and Julius had missed their lunch and first lesson after lunch. Truly, it was time for them to get back to class.
Ooh! i didn't want us to part. Neither did they. We would have spent the whole day together talking and sharpening each other. And not just talking nothings, but stuff to lead us to destiny, as their manuscript put it. Julius and Dan had really challenged me. How come i had never thought of putting my own experiences together into a book?! i mean, i have lived longer than they have! I have had much more experiences than they...! Whoever said age is composite knew better.
To be sincere, this meeting moulded, trimmed and helped me to fit into that shape the Lord has cut out for me. At least i had learnt my day's lesson: "if you say you can, then you can and if you say you cant then indeed you cant."

June 26, 2009

Broken or Crushed

I felt i should share this message as sent to me by a friend. Hope it challenges and blesses you too:
Prayer is total surrender to God’s will and doing what God has told us to do.When we go to pray, one thing we are aiming to do is to hear what God is saying about each and every issue we present at the throne room.And a lot of times, our questions are about God’s business, purpose, will and destiny.And God is ever so faithful that He will tell you His commands.. and even send messengers.. but unless our Will is surrendered to His will... then it becomes a lost cause..But yet, the Lord wants to use us... and to ensure that we bear fruit for He is the one that begun the good work in us…So what happens to us?God then must bring situations in our lives that break us...not for our harm, but to lead us to a point of surrender and makes us whole in His presence.How about we willingly bend and break our will for His will? But [Jesus] looked at them and said, What then is [the meaning of] this that is written: The [very] Stone which the builders rejected has become the chief Stone of the corner [Cornerstone]? Everyone who falls on that Stone will be broken [in pieces]; but upon whomever It falls, It will crush him [winnow him and scatter him as dust].People, let us willingly surrender and live God’s will..Let us obey God.. that we may be called men and women after God’s own heart.what situation are you facing that causes you so much grief? what situation do you feel is out of control? have you truly surrendered?Put it back in God's hands... and surrender in prayer.

June 22, 2009

In the closet

In the closet! Its funny how many of us twist the gospel for our own benefit! Its funny how we are quick to fix other people for acting contrary to the gospel and be so quick to turn the same around to justified our selfishness! Its funny how easy it is to go on and on talking about this and the other and that other to our friends, yet never remember to mention it to God in pray. In fact, God expects us to bring it to Him FIRST before telling it to our confidants.
This past week, i have enjoyed a bashing from the Lord. The Lord took it upon Himself to teach me these things. I am not sure i grasped all of it, but i know i heard it from Him loud and clear.
How does He want us to commune with Him in the closet? By going to Him with repentant hearts. Repentant hearts that have Godly sorrow. This kind of repentance recognises that we have wounded the heart of God but again recognises that there is no condemnation. With all these in mind, we shall then approach His throne in prayer to confess our sins, have changed lives and give selves to His fervent service.
On the other hand, if we realise that we have sinned and allow fear to engulf us instead of repenting, we are reminded that FEAR is the dark room of the devil where he develops his negatives. As Joshua was commanded, we need to be strong and of good cheer. Walk into the battle with confidence that He who is in us is greater than the one in the world.
After repentance, its now time to commune with God in prayer. Talk to daddy. Open your heart to Him. Allow Him to search your thoughts. In so doing, we are able to learn about God through the Holy Spirit, who will give us heavenly reports and reveal to us the heavenly conversations. We get to know what God thinks of us. Prayer elevates us to the spirit level. It gives us courage and helps us to prepare for combat before hand. That is; through prayer we are able to put on the full armour of God and keep from anxiety. Take time to give thanks to God for who He is and all He has done. Appreciate Him for all He is going to do. Contribute to heavenly worship through prayer as you seek righteousness. People, our real life experiences are what build our relationship with God. Our decisions should be based on our closet time with God... for then God deals with our issues in that secret place and gives us courage to do kingdom business..Heart and character surgery does not happen in the public.. it is in the closet but the results are for all to see. Lets spend time in the closet... in the car… in the church... praying privately and alone and lets see the results in the public domain.. Remember that the Lord honours those who seek Him whole-heartedly; in spirit and in truth. Will you be one of those?
Read the Word: this is another thing that the Lord brought to me so clearly. Do you know the mind of God? Do you know what He is saying to you? Do you what God wants of you? Do you know what He is saying about you? All of these answers are in His Word. The Lord wants us to know Him intimately. He wants us to know His mind. He wishes we would grow so close to each other that we can be able to tell what He is thinking of us. He wants us to experience Him every day of our lives, and feel Him so close to us always. What an honour! What an honour!
Lord, help me to know you. Help me to have time with you in my closet. Help me to bring it all to you FIRST Jehovah. Draw me by your side Lord, for this is my hearts desire.

June 18, 2009

The things of God...

Once a friend told me that its no good worrying about things you have no control over. The Lord has been teaching me to trust and obey Him as i patiently wait for His mighty move in whatever circumstance. I must admit i have not been very good at the not worrying and trusting that He is working all things for my good.
Just a day ago, He proved me wrong as always with my worries. I mean He answered a prayer that had been a wish from me instantly. I didn't realise i needed to pray about it, even though i had kept mentioning it. It only occurred to me that it was a prayer after my desire was fulfilled like in a flash of a second. I didn't know how to receive it because it caught completely off-guard. What a pleasant surprise now that i have less to worry about.
God, you are so good and i love you for being my friend.

May 19, 2009

The mysteries of God

There are so many Bible verses that speak about death and the benefits of it especially to Christians. One other time, a friend of mine said she wished one of those who have gone ahead of us would come back and share what heaven is really like. You would wonder why such a thought yet the Bible provides so many testimonies of how it is there. Apostle Paul in his episodes talks about being absent in the body is being present in the spirit. As Christians, we are also encouraged and exhorted not to mourn as those who are ignorant but to mourn with the knowledge that we are here temporarily as we prepare to be home with our Father God.
This may seem so easy, but i just learned that its easier said that done. The past month has not been an easy one for me. While i have been always quick to console with the bereaved asking them to take heart and be encouraged as they find comfort in Christ, the same didn't apply when death recently visited my house. It first started with the illness of my only aunt - my mum's only sister. The day i saw her lying in the hospital bed... i think i was not well prepared for what i would find. It was nothing close to my aunt i had always known - the warm, upbeat and motherly. The moment she heard of your presence, she would run to hug you, try to lift you from the ground, comment on your weight, facial outlook, dressing, hairstyle and such. The smile on her face would crown it all. There would be no doubt that it was all sincere from her heart. Here she was lying there, not sure whether she is seeing me or not, with an endless stare in her eyes. She smiled but didn't seem quite like it, trying to move her hand to embrace me but with no strength to go further than the edge of the bed. For a moment, my body went numb. I didn't move, and kept fighting the stream of tears i was feeling filling my eyes. Then i quickly remembered that i had to stay strong for her and encourage her. I stretched my hand into her open palm and she held tight onto me and kept smiling. Then i asked her daughter how i would know if she recognised me. Surprisingly, my aunt nodded in response.
I spoke to her while she kept nodding even though she couldn't talk back. I cuddled her hand wishing she would say something but nothing. Every time she tried talking there would come a deep groan from her throat. Overwhelmed by the sadness, i released her hand and went out to sob. It was too difficult to take.
That was the beginning of my worries. For a whole two weeks all i did was cry and cry even more. I cried at my desk, in the bathroom and in bed. I was always full. I had no room for food. Every time i went before the Lord i would end up saying nothing but would just cry. Thank God He hears even our deepest groaning. I am sure He knew what i was out to tell Him. The phone became my greatest enemy worrying every time i heard it ring.
And indeed it finally rung to confirm my worst fears- she had passed on.
Three weeks down the line i am still working at letting go. Every time i think of her i cant just take it in. Yet i saw her being laid to rest. Is this what all bereaved people go through?! Especially bereaved Christians?!
I am sure God is really disappointed with me! I am consoled though that He understands my weakness and is forgiving because He sees the will to let go but the human nature is still holding on. As i have always said, Christianity is the hardest thing on earth. Being a christian and living all that comes with it is a real job. No wonder Paul in Romans says we have all fallen short of the the glory of God. I thank God for His grace that is ever sufficient. If it were not for it, i don't know what would become of me. Maybe He would have also taken me home. And that scares me because if He came He wouldn't find me worthy if i am still struggling with accepting His will. Every single day, i am telling myself that in all that God does, He does it PERFECTLY well, and that in all thing He works for our good. I want to internalise these and probably snap back to reality and move on in faith as i await His coming for me. For it shall surely come to pass.
Are you there feeling dejected and in so much pain like i am? God loves you. He cares about you so much that your pain is His too. It hurts Him just as much as it does hurt you, but He still has to perform His will for our lives. He desires that we may know His good and perfect will for us.
Paul in Philippians 4:4 exhorts us to rejoice in the Lord always and verse 7 adds that and His peace that surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

April 06, 2009

Treasures

Every one of us has treasures deposited in us that we need to discover. We have to allow ourselves to have the treasures exploited for the kingdom of God. And all it takes is our initiative to discover what there is in our inside and use it for God's glory as we serve others amongst us.
Over the weekend i went out to Nakuru to meet one Police Superintendent who has discovered what has been deposited in him. He is going out of his way to use it. Superintendent Gitahi Kanyeki is in charge of Molo District Administration Police unit, a district that suffered greatly from the post election violence that gripped Kenya two years ago. And with the government's initiation of operation 'rudi nyumbani,' which was a process that was meant to resettle the displaced, Superintendent Kanyeki initiated his peace building exercise to get the warring groups to live with each other without any more trouble. He took it upon himself to drive the peace and reconciliation initiative in his region of service. He has been going around in public meetings, especially youth meetings to preach peace and reconciliation. Being a police officer, he was privileged to get some of the gross pictures of victims of the violence, and has been using them in PowerPoint presentations to get the message across right and clear.

After viewing some of those pictures on his computer, i still cant get the images of the poor young people i saw lying lifeless with their throats slit. That was gross!
He says after having his audience view the images, he then possess the question; would you like us to go back there? Do you think what we did was worth the while? Do you now understand why its important to live in peace with everyone? And he says the answer is always a quiet no, no yes and so on. He says even though the perpetrators of the violence have not been confident enough to confess their crime for fear of being prosecuted, he has seen a great improvement and and slowly starting to reap fruits of his efforts. Officer Kanyeki has also incorporated members of his stuff in the initiative, who he says have responded well. They are all running across the district and neighbouring districts to preach peace, reconciliation and integrity in society.
While listening to him at one of the youth workshops, i got thinking, what if all of us gave ourselves to this course! What if we all became agents of change and took the bulls by its horns! Would there be anyone our evil leaders would find to manipulate to reach their selfish ends?! Wouldn't our leaders, who have always been the preachers of hate and division also fall suit of this?! I have always believed in the cliche' - if you cant beat them join them. They would not be able to beat us to this game, and so they would be forced to join the common citizen and preach peace with us. Kenya would indeed be the ONE Kenya that we all pray, fast and long for. Using our national flag, Kanyeki brings his message of peace so easily yet deeply to us. As he digs back into our history and the events that led Kenya into becoming a republic, the various people from various tribes who put their lives on line for the freedom of this country. Even to the point of putting our flag together in such a way that would always remind us of our past, present and where we want to be in future. I was left with this one expression - Wow!!!
And you know he does all this in his full uniform! He is proud to be where he is and to do what he is doing for his homeland Kenya. he concludes his message with this words, " let us gang together to guard our homeland Kenya. Repent and seek cleansing! Let us all head together to heaven. And if you are there and you don't want to join us, then we are sorry but we have to tell you that you are headed for hell and all by yourself."
This are the heroes we should be preaching about. People who are causing positive change in our society. Not troublemakers in the name of political leaders who break us in pieces by inciting us against each other.
Superintendent Kanyeki made my weekend!
Bravo superintendent! I salute you! Your labour is not in vain!

March 31, 2009

The Little things

Christine my friend gets released from prison this Thursday after serving 9 years for drug trafficking and impersonation. Initially, she had been convicted to 12 years for drug trafficking and another two for impersonation, but the sentence was reduced after a successful appeal.

When i first met Christine during one of our outreaches to the prison, i was so moved by her testimony. How the Lord had fished her from freedom to prison to get her into His will. That was one of the most powerful testimonies i had ever heard. But there was a sad side to it too - loneliness, neglect and anxiety. Being a Ugandan single mother in a Kenyan prison meant she had no one to visit with her, her children had no guardian and all that comes with such situations.

I felt the Lord leading me to minister to her. And i have done that for the last two years. Whenever i am able i will buy personal effects, sometimes just walk in to find out how she is doing.

One of my most trying moments with her was when she received the news of the passing on of her firstborn daughter. First, i wondered how i was going to break the news to her, and how she would receive it. Then there was the question of whether the prison authority would allow me to give her such news! As i grappled with the question, i received a call from the prison that i was required urgently. The caller did not divulge any further information. Of course as any normal person questions started filling my mind. I wondered what she had done since she was the only person that connected me to that prison. Accompanied by two of my friends, i took myself to my supposed slaughter. When we got there, i was quickly informed that Christine had a problem, and given that i was the only contact they could find in their records, that was why they had called me.

Now hell seemed closer than i had imagined. All the same, the chaplain was called to receive us in her office as Christine was called in. When i saw her, i knew there was something terribly wrong. She was looking haggard, unkempt and so withdrawn. She tried to smile but nothing worked. Her usual beautiful smile had disappeared in this new look i had never known before. I hugged her,which we rarely did because lots of times we would just see each other through the wire-mesh place, or occasionally shook hands as i handed stuff over to her at the tight watch of the officers. She held so tightly onto me, while i tried to search her silent hug to get the answers to my very many questions.

As we took our seats with my eyes tightly fixed on her and occasionally shifting to the chaplain, she broke out in tears. At this point, the chaplain was explaining why i had been called. Apparently, Christine had gotten to know of her daughter's passing on and was bitter with God for the lose of her second child while in custody. She said amidst weeping that "if God has decided to kill all of my children i want him to take me too." For two weeks, Christine had not eaten, taken a bath, changed her clothes, combed her hair, done her manual duties or even spoken to anyone. She had been crying and giving trouble to anyone who tried to help.

Since i was the only one who had been visiting her, it seemed i would be the only one to help her get out of her sorrow.

What would i do or say that would take away her pain?! I wondered to myself.

Though at this time i was so relieved that it wasn't anything bad as i had feared earlier, her response to the news of her lose however was quite out of hand from what anyone would have expected. In silence i just sat there and cried with her. Once in a while she would keep quiet and try to calm down, and that would be the opportunity for me to throw in a word of encouragement or affirmation from God. Then came the worst moment when i was forced to tell her that even though she had repented and been received by God, she still had to suffer the consequences of her sin. I didn't mean that the death of her children were God's punishment to her, but the fact that they both died from inadequate medical attention and care could be a consequence of her misconduct that led to her being imprisoned. I am glad she took it calmly and did not blow up on my face.

After crying and talking and crying some more, she calmed down and was now able to listen to us in a more composed way. She repented to God for all the unpleasant things she had said to Him, asked the chaplain to forgive her for having been so ruthless with her and promised to apologise to her fellow inmates and the officers as well. As we left, i was glad that the Lord had allowed me to minister to her. And that i can be sought after for her sake. It gave me real joy that i had touched one soul for the kingdom.

As i visited with her this last Sunday which incidentally is her last Sunday in there, i could not help but just praise God for the joy and peace i saw on her face even as she faces the uncertainty of what the outside world has in store. Her hope and enthusiasm really amazed me. And the way she thanked me...no words can explain!

Why am i telling us this, you may wonder! Its just to let us know how God can use us to touch people in our small ways. Its not by power or by might, but by His spirit says the Lord. All we need to do is avail ourselves and He will direct us in ways we may never have imagined.

That very same day, i took my new American friends through a mandazi making class!

I must say this was fun. And you can never imagine how the little things we do to others can change their lives. You should have seen the excitement in their eyes at the fact that they had made their very own first mandazis, and that they don't have to always keep waiting for people to bring them but now they can have them whenever they please. This really pleased me as much as it excited them.

One thing i have learned through these two stories is that its not always about what people can do for us, but what we can do for others. Mother Teresa said, "I never look at the masses as my responsibility. I look at the individual. I can love only one person at a time. I can feed only one person at a time. Just one, one, one. . . The whole work is only a drop in the ocean. But, if I didn't put the drop in, the ocean would be one drop less. "

DOES GOD TRUST YOU?!

Oh, i must say this seems a season of challenges for me. I have kept receiving new challenges in the faith that have kept my mind thinking and cracking hard.
After Sunday's worship, a friend made me understand so loud and clear that God can never give you your whole portion!
It hit me like a thunderbolt. I wondered how true that can be, but again it become so true in my mind as i started thinking, yah, how many times have i prayed for stuff and indeed i have received a lot of it but always with new challenges. But then she helped me understand that the gap God leaves is for His glory. I think God got to learn through experience that human beings can never be trusted. If He gave us the whole portion then truly speaking we would have no reason to go back to Him even with gratitude. Remember the story of the ten lepers! Only one went back to return thanks. So the only way for Him to keep us close to Him is by keeping us on our heels.
Then yesterday came the big one- does God trust you?! Matthew 6:33 exhorts us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to us as well. And this is what brings the question, can God trust you enough to give you 'all these things?!' And what are 'all these things' in the first place? A lot of times we associate this verse with worldly pleasures. We think of seeking God and having wealth, high positions, financial overflows, material blessings and all that. Have we ever stopped to think that worldly pleasures are not all that matters to our being?
Spiritual gifts are another very important part of 'all these things.' This should be the priority of our lives. To seek God's kingdom and His righteousness and receive all of His blessings - Holy Spirit, joy, goodness, forgiveness, wisdom, knowledge, prophecy and the like. What great life would a Christian have other than being endoured by all these things! What other things would one seek from God other than having Him put a stamp of approval that He trusts you and can entrust His gifts in you?! Does He trust you with His forgiveness when a friend wrongs you, or a word of knowledge to brethren, or a revelation to His church?!
Can God come out loud and clear like He did at the baptism and transfiguration of Christ and declare that "this is my child in whom i am well pleased!"

March 27, 2009

Humility

Anyone who does not know the story of Paul the apostle and how he became a Christian?! Reading about his ministry, i am humbled by his acts. As a new believer, Paul and Barnabas are enthusiastically ministering in Lystra and Derbe (Acts 14:8-20). After Paul prays for the healing of a man who had never walked, the ignorant people of this region decide these must be some kind of gods. So they decide to offer sacrifices to them. This really incenses Paul and Barnabas who tear there clothes in anger and move in fast to stop the blasphemy - save them from their detriment. This is what i call humility!
How many of us would jump at such an opportunity and want to show even more miraculous works...!!! How many of us will do everything to cause a stir and receive such an honour! We will want people to get to hear of 'our' mighty deeds and how we are so 'great.' Forgetting that its not by might nor by power, but by the Spirit of the Lord.
This is what ails our society - taking credit even when we dont deserve it. We do anything to have people revere us. This is what has gotten us into this corners we are trying to pull ourselves out of. We grab public land to give to our fanatics, and now we have no more spaces for public developments. We curve off forest land to create farmland for our allies and tribesmen, now we suffer serious drought and consequently serious famine. We allow theft in public coffers and now we suffer poor infrastructure - in medical services, transport, resources leading to this big economic collapse/issues we are crumbling with, and in turn get ourselves in big debts that will take forever to clear. We give our illiterate relatives high calibre jobs and now we suffer poor services because of the poor foundations we laid. The list is endless.
Alright, a few of us have woken up from our slumber, and are now raising voices to try and correct the situation before it gets wa...y out of hand, and what are we doing?! picking up daggers and running after them for their heads.
I dont want to sound like a pessimist. i strongly believe that humility is what will take us back to the place where we should be. The place where we belong.
Are we willing to get down to our knees and surrender?! Are we willing to admit that we have been too wrong and are ready and willing to seek direction?! Are some of us willing to say i have been here too long yet nothing has ever gone right and step aside for fresh blood?! Is the young blood willing to take a self-examination to rid their minds of the old rhetoric and get their fresh and greater ideas to work with?! Is someone willing to voluntarily vacate the illegal forest lands they are occupying to have forest cover reinstated for the good of our land?! Is someone ready to accept that they have been wrong, that they have stolen from the public and like short Zaccheus return what they stole plus the profits it has accrued thereof to the public?!
Oh, God, take us back to the place of prayer!!!

March 25, 2009

Thought for the Day

Today in my devotion i read Acts 12. I would like to share with us a verse that has never hit me this much before. Verse 23 speaks of how King Herod was struck down and eaten by worms and died. That was scary yet so clear. Indede our God is a jealousy God. He cannot share His glory with anyone else. Do you know its wasnt much for Herod to just say 'it is all about God' and mean it in his heart?! His self-centeredness, pride and stupidy led him to keeping quiet and now we read about him in such away.
Take a moment and ask yourself what would be said or read about you when you are no more in this life! Will people sit back and say, wow! what a great wise person that was or will they say, oh, poor guy, did he/she have to go through that! May God help us to humble ourselves even before Him. And may His grace abound even in our weaknesses.

New Culture

Last week i got introduced to a new culture - America's St. Patrick's day. My two new colleagues and friends who have just arrived from the US did the honours of ushering me into this new culture. They were so excited that their parents had sent them stuff on the St. Patrick's day - candy, green hats, shades, and lots of other funny things. The Kenyans around will agree with me that this is an unheard of holiday here in Kenya, yet it seemed so big a deal to my friends. There i was, being dragged into something i had no clue what it was. I enjoyed the fun of it though. The taking of crazy pictures in all of the crazy paraphernalia. I must admit i was successfully initiated into the St. Patrick's day thing.


Then there was this piece on news about who will save Kenyans from themselves!' At first i was like why do we need someone to save us from ourselves?! But as i listened, i got to understand and totally agree that we need to be saved from ourselves. For instance, when a passenger throws out trash from their windows in the middle of the road, really, they need someone to save them from self destruction. Otherwise before we know it our whole country will be trash. When someone sets a whole forest on fire in this dry weather so as to shelf off farming land, when we harvest trees in our farms to produce timber and in turn sell it off for cash leaving our lands bare, when saloonists empty their dirty water with all the chemicals on the streets, when we have all of our shopping in many little plastic bags that end up in drainages or on dumping sites - the examples are endless. Kenyans need a saviour. Someone who will take to the hell of a destroyed environment and bring us back with a testimony of what the destruction can do. I once thought when Wangari Maathai said we had grieved mother nature and she was surely going to pay us back, we would step back and do self-analysis/evaluation. Think of what we have done wrong, what we can correct and start acting in that direction to apeace mother nature to have mercy on us in her wrath. What have we done instead, we have shaken the statement and seeming realities off and are walking on with much more destruction every other day. Can we arise and salvage what we have left?! Can we retrace our steps and try to make right our wrongs?! Is it possible for us to start somewhere as we wait for our real saviour?! Otherwise it might just be too late for us. Ever read of the Bible story about Lazarus and the rich man?! The rich man wished he would have an opportunity to come back and give testimony of what real hell was but had no opportunity. Lets preserve our environment, lets save our land, lets save our lives!!! It calls for a concerted effort.

March 24, 2009

Just Starting

Welcome to my blog. I am glad you choose to come to this page. My name is Marion Ndeta, highly favoured and honoured to be called a friend of God, the Most High. I love Jesus for He loved me first, and has assured me of life eternal if only i trust and obey Him. Isnt that so easy to do! Just trusting and obeying all that He tells me. And i mean, whenever i fal short of this, He always avails a second chance - repenting and turning to Him. Oh, what a friend.
Anyway, all said and done I am glad to have all of you in my life. I welcome and appreciate your comments, insights and knowledge into making this page better as we share together what the Lord has blessed me with.
In this blog, i will be sharing stuff about my work, calling, experiences and observations. These would be about journalism - environmental issues, my calling as a Christians, more so a missioner - devotions and my love - music. There may be other things i may highlight here that are not so closely related to those i have mentioned before, but as long as they will bless a soul somewhere, i dont mind sharing.